Celebrating the Birthday of a Loved One

Today, I celebrate (and at times - just get through) my husband Craig’s birthday. This is his sixth birthday without him.

I have learned to integrate my loss, to continue living while staying connected to him. I talk about him, listen to his favorite music, and do the activities that remind me of him. While the days are no longer filled with acute grief and intense emotions, anniversaries are heavier. Anniversaries provide a strong dose of reality that yet another year has gone by without him, a stark reminder of the passage of time.

Anniversaries can easily trigger anniversary reaction, a resurgence of acute, intense grief. On these special days, to help deal with anniversary grief, it can be helpful to:

Remind people. If you want support from specific people on a date, remind them. Don’t wait and see and hope for the best. Sometimes you need to take the first step to ensure that you have the support you need.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace. There is no one way to get through an anniversary. Give yourself space and time to do what you want with the day.

When someone you love dies, a bit of you dies with them. But just as a piece of you died with them, a piece of them lives on in you.

Craig, missing you today and always, but I know you are always with me.

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