Thanksgiving is all about traditions and gathering of loved ones. But when you are missing a loved one, it can be hard to muster up the strength to be thankful and carry out traditions.
Some Thanksgiving history for me... On Thanksgiving in 2016, I woke up in the hospital after a bilateral mastectomy, and it was the first Thanksgiving without my mother. With my health to be very grateful for in 2017, my husband and I embarked on a new tradition - going for a a mountain bike ride - instead of a sail. In 2018, after my world was turned upside down with the loss of my husband, I experienced my first Thanksgiving without my husband.
Today is my fifth Thanksgiving without my husband. Is the fifth harder or easier? It is a mixed bag! It is easier because I now know my triggers, but more difficult because of the realization that so much time has passed since I lost Craig.
So how to cope on Thanksgiving while grieving? First, know that there is no one way to cope. It is different for everyone and will likely change as time passes as well. Knowing life is precious can help us cherish every moment and not sweat the small stuff.
4 tips to how to give thanks while grieving:
Be kind to yourself
Allow yourself grace -- Don't feel pressured to only be happy and thankful. Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions - be it sad, lonely, isolated, or depressed.
Find something to be grateful for
Acknowledge your grief, then fill in the blanks to "Yes, and..." -- and state something that you are grateful for. Actively balancing out your thoughts with something that you are grateful for will help you see the positive in today and focus on what you do have.
Be flexible with traditions
Whether you decide to hold tight to some traditions to remember your loved one or start new traditions, do what you are comfortable with, not what you feel you should do.
Go for a walk
Get outside. Focus on breathing and taking in the fresh air to help you relax and reset.
You will find your way through in your own unique way. Here's to being flexible and new traditions. Wishing you an honest Thanksgiving!
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